I’m Not Crazy…I’m Not Crazy…

One of the hardest things I find about having an invisible illness is the fact that even I can’t see it. Yes, I can feel what happens to my body, and I can see how it impacts my life, but on those bad days, when I get down on myself, it would be nice to be able to look in the mirror and be like “Look, Maddie. There it is. You aren’t crazy.”

I tend to get stuck in my head easily, and I convince myself that I am making this all up, even though I was diagnosed over four years ago. It is hard to be able to admit to myself that I am sick when the mirror is telling me I’m not.

Every time I go to a doctors appointment I have the fear that they will tell me I’m not sick, or that the symptom I am experiencing is all in my head. When it is validated it is nice, and I almost want to ask for a sticker saying “Sick. Not crazy”. I would wear it every day.

I don’t want people to feel pity for me, but some understanding would be nice. I don’t mind explaining to strangers why I have to sit down in weird places, or why I am out of breath, but not having to do so would also be really nice.

That’s one of the main reason’s I started this blog and its corresponding Instagram page. I have been through those days when even I don’t seem myself. I put my experiences down on paper, so others with similar experiences can relate, or those that want to know what it feels like can get a glimpse.

For those of us that live our lives invisible, I see you.

 

~Maddie

Advertisements

One thought on “I’m Not Crazy…I’m Not Crazy…

  1. I struggled with this a lot! I felt so sick yet I didn’t look sick at all and I just didn’t understand how that could be possible. Thankfully, with lots of people who are supportive and that acknowledge the fact that the illness is there, it makes being sick a little bit easier. It puts that “is this all in my head” factor to rest, atleast a little bit!!!! Blogging is such a great community to find other people that are going through the same things. 💛

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s