Early classes are starting to take their tole on me. I either have class or work at 9 AM each day. Every day I need to take longer and longer naps, I have had more mild headaches too. My hope right now is that because I don’t work on the weekends I will be able to sleep in, regain my strength. I have been able to work out for the past few days, so that has been good.
But now I have a mild headache. It’s nothing horrible, just this pressure that is always in the background. Despite this, when my friends wanted to go out to last minute ice cream, meaning we had twenty minutes to get there before it closed, I said yes. One, for the ice cream of course, and two because I am the type of person that wants to be able to say, “You can make me feel crappy, POTS, but watch what I can do despite that. Watch me make memories.”
I ended up not eating any ice cream though, because my stomach was feeling weird. I made up for that by making hot chocolate when I got back. Something sweet that my body can digest.
I pushed my body pretty hard today at the gym doing arm day. I was sick of feeling tired from just standing, and I was frustrated. I wore the heart rate monitor I have that firs around my wrist while walking to class today, and for the majority of the ten minute walk my heart rate was around 130. I plan on writing a post on what it feels like to be walking around with a high heart rate, so if you are interested keep an eye out for that.
I have started to view this, having POTS, not as something that is interesting about me, or sets me apart, but more as just something. It’s no different then my nose, always there, never going away. Some people will comment on it, most won’t think anything of it.
When classes start most make you go around and say your name and an interesting fact. I never say that I have POTS. To me that is like saying I have freckles. It is just something that I have to deal with. But, if someone where to ask me questions about my POTS, I am an open book. I want people to know what it is like. I want to raise awareness about the condition. Yes, it won’t kill me, but that doesn’t mean that it wont make my life hell.